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    January 23

    一地鸡毛

    LG昨晚的电话,嗫喏、犹豫着,迟疑中说出了不想再骗我。心中登时一紧,不知他会有怎样的下文。他说,我那按他尺码,精心挑选,又忙不迭寄去的几件衬衫,其实并不像他下午电话中形容的那样合身,袖子长了一截,尺码也大了一号。只是,他不愿见我失望,所以就佯装满心欢喜,在电话那端报告他如何地称心如意。我在得意之余,又狠狠邀了番功。这反倒令他有些惴惴不安,担心是否有必要说那些粉饰的话。
     
    听完这番自白,我心中五味杂陈。有些释怀,问题似乎没有想象的严重。也反省自己从前的高压手段,大概令他至今仍有阴影,所以说真话还需要鼓足勇气。还感慨,自己真的在不知不觉中,变了。不再像从前,纠缠一地鸡毛和无关痛痒。
     
    和大Z走在回家的路上,她笑着回想起她姐夫和姐姐刚结婚那会儿的趣事,两人为了白菜应该是竖着切还是横着切,愣是闹到不可开交。结果搬出双方家长做后援团,怎知男方家说该横切,女方家说该竖切,最后还是笔算不清楚的糊涂账。我想起有回过年,LG坚持说,新年不过二月二龙抬头,不能去理发,否则要S亲娘舅。我素来是百无禁忌的唯物主义者,偏就倔脾气上来不爱信那邪,非说是他家的遗风陋俗。强要逼着他,什么时候头发长了就该什么时候去绞头。
     
    印象中,我在这些葱花蒜末的小事儿上,总是爱无理搅三分,更别说得理时不饶人的矫情啦。而LG当然也不是个善主儿,他也是个凡事总往心里去的,不能听任人摆布,原则问题、是非曲直,也要一是一、二是二,说清辨明的。所以我俩总不免像对乌眼鸡,要斗个你输我赢,或者上演些真理越辩越明的世纪大辩论,直至上下五千年纵横八千里,扯上些酸瓜劣枣鸡零狗碎。最后,也总难免,两败俱伤,无心恋战,息事宁人,握手言和。热闹过后,总觉荒唐。却又陷入怪圈,每每上演,还乐此不疲。
     
    不知道最近是不是年龄大了,体力不济,还是相距太远,越洋争吵不易,总觉得自己变得不再那么计较,很难再为些七毛八块的事儿伤肝动气了。而且,开始懂得,生活不总是甜言蜜语、你恩我爱,有时难免失望懊丧,或者,一声叹息。
     
    不过如此,那又如何。如果我们是弹簧,我弱你就强,此消彼长,生活照样。
     
     

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    品一 李wrote:
    老婆,我……我以前真的是太任性了,很不大度。这也是为什么我在今年的第一篇blog上说自己为什么要和以前有所不同。
    Jan. 23

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